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The 1986 Study

Record Number: W4N09

Level Three: Add Clauses

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       Subordinate clauses are in brackets [ ]. / represents the vertical line at the end of a main clause.  The font size of words aleady analyzed has been decreased. The color codes for adjectives, adverbs, and prepositional phrases have been deleted because too many colors seemed distracting. Words which remain to be analyzed are still in 14-point black.

     Hello! / Let me tell you {about my family.} / My whole 

family was born {in Knoxville, Tn.} / I have a mom named 

Martha. / I have a father named Phillip. / I have sister

name Missy. / I have brother name Sammy. / And me

Note #1 {of couse} Sara. / My mother was really {from South 

Carolina.} / She is used {to chickens, birds, wild life, snakes, 

kittens, bats.} / She was rasied {by grandmother} Anna Bell. /

Now let me tell you {about my father.} / My father is

handsome. / He knows karate. / He's kinda of a short man. /

But Note my father is a macanic {at General Motors.} / He is

very handy. / Now here comes my sister. / My sister is kinda 

{like my mother.} / But my sister is very tall. / do you know

[DO of "do know" why she's tall.] / My mother and fathers 

grandfathers are tall. / My sister goes {to Chandler.} / She is

a flag person. / My brother. Note #2 / My brother is bad. /

He knows some karate too./ You have met him. / He is {in 

kintergarten.} / His teaches name is Mrs. Carter. / Sammy is 

doing well {in school.} / Finally me. Note #1 / I am just another 

important person just {like everybody else.} / I try to be myself 

all {though the day.} /And try {to my best} each and every day. /

And care {for everybody else.} Note #3  / Thank you. / that's my

family. /

     Hello! / Let me tell  you [DO of "tell"where I live.] / I

live {at 426 Marydale Ave.} / It is the second house [Adv to "is"

when you go {down Bow St.}] / It is very big. / It is tanish

brown. / It has three straight poles {in the front.} / It has four

windows {in the front.} /  The two {in the front} are Sammys

Sara's. / The won {on the left} is Sammy's / and the won {on 

the right} is Sara's. / Now is time to look inside. / It is really

messy. / [Adv to "see?" Note #4 When you go upstairs]. /{On the 

left} you see the kitchen. / And the Living room (DO) Note #5./

Now {on the right side} you will see the bathroom. / The linen

closet (DO). / And supply closet (DO). / First is Missy's

room. / Then comes Sara's room. / Last is Sammy's room./

Walk downstairs. /{On the Left} is my Parents room. / They 

have the laundry room. /And another bathroom (DO?). /

Then {on the right} is the basement. / We have six tvs and six 

hbos {on them}. / 2 vcrs (DO). / a microwave (DO). / We 

have a Toyota Camery, And a Cheverle (DO). / And a

woodshed (DO) And a swing set (DO). /
 

Notes

1. If I saw this type of fragment in the writing of a seventh grader, I might worry about it, but in the writing of a fourth grader, I would simply ignore it. Note that it comes at the end of a sequence of very short sentences, each of which lists a family member. This type of listing is, as either Hunt or O'Donnell noted, typical of young writers. They will outgrow it -- and probably the associated fragment -- naturally. Let's not interfere with Mother Nature. (See also the discussion of fragments in the accompanying essay.)

2. Students working at this level will recognize "My brother" as a fragment. (Thus, I have counted it here as a subject.) Whether it is an acceptable or unacceptable fragment is something that I would let the class discuss. (Personally, I would never tell a fourth grader that a fragment such as this is unacceptable. It almost functions as a subtitle, and will probably be naturally outgrown.)

3. Here again I don't see any real problem with the two fragments. The subjects are easily understood, and, to me, repeating the understood "I" makes the sentences worse, not better. The same is true about combining the sentences -- "I try to be myself all though the day, and try to my best each and every day, and care for everybody else." Doing this, moreover, would create a 23-word main clause, more than twice as long as the longest main clause in the passage (eleven words), and four times as long as the 5.6 words/main clause average of the sample. Expecting this writer to do this combining is simply expecting far more than this writer's short-term memory is currently capable of handling.

4. Here, students who have been analyzing passages for clause structure should note the problem. Does the subordinate clause fragment belong with the main clause that precedes it, or with the one that follows it?  If the students themselves do not notice it, the teacher should point out the difference in meaning. If the "When" clause goes with "It is really messy," then the writer means that only the upstairs is messy. If, on the other hand, it goes with "On the left you see the kitchen," then the implication is that the entire house is messy.

5. As in Note #4, students will see "And the living room" as a fragment. The KISS psycholinguistic model explains why this fragment is a problem. (Having seen the period after "kitchen," the reader dumps the contents of STM to long-term memory, clears STM, and expects a new subject. As a result, the reader will interpret "living room" as a subject and expect it to be followed by a verb -- "And the living room is ...." When this doesn't happen, the reader becomes confused.) The same is true of the fragments that appear a little later -- "The linen closet.  And supply closet."
 
 

Progress:
Total Words = 390 Words %
L1: In Prep Phrases  84  22
L1A: + Adj. & Averbs 88 44
L2: + S / V / C 167 87
L3: + Clauses 24 93

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