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Cathy Carter
\-\I
decided to write*INFDO04 {about
Cathy} [RAVFbecause, she is
a very nice person.] \-\she
is also very pretty. \-\She has blue
green eyes & dirty blonde hair.=CC \-\I
think [RNDOher hair is very pretty.]
\-\She
has very soft skin [RAVFbecause, she
always uses Caress [RAVFwhen she washes.]]
\-\Her
favorite colors are Blue & Pink.=CC \-\They
are my favorite colors too! \-\Her
favorite subject {in school} is english. \-\Her
favorite teachers are Ms. Simmons, & Mrs. Roberts.=CC
\-\Her
worst teacher is Mr. Carson \R\RO#21she
says [RNDOhe is a whale tail, old geezer,
& a mean teacher.=CC]
\-\Her
very best friend in Dori Thomas. \-\She
really likes her a whole lot!#NuA03 \-\Cathy
has a real big mouth. \-\She
really likes to talk*INFDO04 a lot,#NuA02
\,\CS#19she
always gets {in trouble} {in school} {for talking.*GerOP01}
\-\She
always get's her name up {in Mrs. Karn's class.}
\-\Cathy has been {to
florida} two times#NuA05
{in
her life!} \-\She really had
a lot {of fun} {at Florida.} \-\She
got a very nice tan {from laying*GerOP05
out} {on the beach.} \-\Some
people [MAJFCathy don't like]
are Eddie Johnson, Eddie Ford,=CC Sam Sherman,=CC
and Mark Thomas=CC \R\RO#22she
says [RNDOSam Sherman is stinky]
\R\RO#23the
reason [MAJFCathy dosen't like them]
is [RNPNbecause
[LINJshe
says] they are geeks.]
\-\Cathy's favorite holiday is
Christmas,
\,\CS#20It
is yoce favorite holiday [RAVFbecause
she gets a lot {of presents} {from
other people.}] \-\Cathy's
favorite television show is "Growing Pains," [RAVFbecause
she thinks [RNDOKurk Cameron is very,
very cute!]] \-\Cathy
is going {with a boy} named*GiveR03
Roger
Towson. \-\He is sort of cute.
\-\He
is Ed Towson's brother \R\RO#24I
think [RNDOEd is very cute but is=CV
very bad] \R\RO#25all
{of
the Towson's} are.
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Analysis of Fragments, Comma-Splices
and Run-ons
CS #19 -- Amplification: The second main
clause gives details on how much she likes to talk. "She
really likes to talk a lot -- she always gets in trouble in school for
talking."
CS #20 -- Amplification? I'm considering
this as amplification because the S/V/C pattern in the second main clause
simply repeats the idea in the first. In effect, it could be deleted. "Cathy's
favorite holiday is Christmas, because she gets a lot of presents from
other people." If the student wanted to keep the repetition, for emphasis
perhaps, I would see no problem in her using a dash: "Cathy's
favorite holiday is Christmas -- it is [garble] favorite holiday because
she gets a lot of presents from other people."
RO #21 -- Amplification I'm including this
in the amplification group because a dash would probably be acceptable.
"Her worst teacher is Mr. Carson -- she says he is a whale tail, old geezer,
& a mean teacher." For a seventh grader, this sentence attempts to
explain some very complex relationships. Implicit in it is a cause/effect
relationship: "Her worst teacher is Mr. Carson because he is a whale tail,
old geezer, & a mean teacher." Stated that way, however, it is the
writer who is taking authority for the cause/effect connection. An adult
might handle the situation using an interjectional clause: "Her worst teacher
is Mr. Carson because, she says, he is a whale tail, old geezer,
& a mean teacher." My experience has been (and I think that many, if
not most instructors of college Freshman research papers would agree) that
even college Freshmen have trouble with such interjectional clauses.
Note that this
writer uses a very similar construction later in the essay: "the reason
[MAJFCathy
dosen't like them] is [RNPNbecause [LINJshe says]
they are geeks.]" Although I have counted the "she says" clause as an interjection,
technically it is not because it is not set off in commas. Thus, it would
probably be processed as "the reason [MAJFCathy dosen't like them]
is [RNPNbecause she says [RNDOthey are geeks.]]" This
would make "she says" the reason for her not liking them.
RO #22 -- Amplification See RO #21.
RO #23 -- Other: I've counted this as "other"
because I cannot see any reason for the error other than carelessness.
RO #24 -- Other: See RO #23.
RO #25 -- Amplification: Amplification,
punctuated with a dash or colon, usually goes from the general statement
to the more detailed. In this case, the relationship is from the specific
to the general, but a dash would still seem acceptable:
"I think Ed is very cute but is very bad -- all of the Towson's are."
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