Dr. Vavra's Main Menu
The KISS Grammar Homepage
Cobweb Corner
The 1986 Study
Record Number: W7N16A
Transcript of the Student's Text
Coded for Statistical Analysis
Statistics: Table of Contents

Back to Seventh Grade Writers' Menu

My Pets

       \-\I have two Shasa Apso dogs, and one mixed Shasa Apso and part poodle=CC. \-\We purchased our first female Shasa Apso {at the flee market} {from a couple} {from the Washington area.} \-\Her name is Prissy \C\and she is black and grey.=CC \-\Our male Shasa Apso is {from a couple} [RAJFwho had a baby girl.] \-\And the dog was jealous {of the baby.} \-\His name is Hashi \C\and he is white {with red spots.} \-\Our third dog is a puppy {from one} {of our first litter} {of pups.} \-\Her name is Spunky, \C\and she is blond and red.=CC \-\Our female Shasa Apso has had four litters {of puppies.} \-\They are so cute and furry=CC [RAVFthat it is so hard to sell*INFDS03 them.] \-\Last month#NuA02 my dad had to build a dog pen to keep*INFAJ04 them in [RAVFbecause they started running*GerDO02 off.] \-\Every morning#NuA02 we put them {in the pen} and keep=CV them {in it} {till eight o'clock.} \-\They have adjusted {to the pen} quicker [RAVFthen I thought [RNDOthey would.]] \-\{In the morning} they go right outside and go=CV {into the pen.} \-\{At night} we let them run*INFDO06 around {in the yard} and sometimes play=CV {with them.} \-\These dogs are very loving dogs, \,\CS#23they really make nice pets {for children.} \-\Two {of them} sleep {in my bedroom} {with me,} \C\and the other is my fathers dog. \-\My brother has two Shasa Apso \R\RO#38both are puppies {of my dog Prissy.}  \-\One is a female \R\RO#39the other is a male. \-\My sister also has a female Shasa Apso puppy {from Prissy.} \-\We love our Shasa Apsos.
 

 
Analysis of Fragments, Comma-Splices and Run-ons

CS #23 -- Amplification (also Subordination): "These dogs are very loving dogs -- they really make nice pets for children." It could also be subordination: "These dogs are very loving dogs, so they really make nice pets for children." Ot it could be "Because these dogs are very loving dogs, they really make nice pets for children." Because we usually isolate the teaching of grammar from the teaching of logic and thinking, we should probably expect run-ons such as this one, even from students who are well beyond seventh grade. In this case, the splice suggests that the writer saw these two clauses as closely related. There are, however, at least three possible options, none of which is very well taught. Not knowing what to do, the writer left the splice. (See the Instructional Matrices section on teaching grammar and logic.)

RO #38 -- Amplification (or Subordination): The second main clause gives more details about the two dogs: "My brother has two Shasa Apso -- both are puppies of my dog Prissy." The second clause could be subordinated: "My brother has two Shasa Apso, both of whcih are puppies of my dog Prissy." Although there are no appositives in this passage, the writer may also be starting to develop the appositive: "My brother has two Shasa Apso, both puppies of my dog Prissy."
RO #39 -- Contrast: "One is a female; the other is a male."