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Analysis of Fragments, Comma-Splices
and Run-ons
Frag #09 -- Other: The fragment is an appositive,
which is a form of amplification. I'm counting it in the "other" group
because, for developmental reasons, the KISS Approach does not advocate
the formal teaching appositives to seventh graders. (See Chapters Four
and Seven of Teaching Grammar
as a Liberating Art.) If the student were analyzing his own writing,
he would find the problem because there is no subject and finite verb in
the fragment. Puzzled, he would probably ask what to do about it. I would
then tell him that he is using an advanced construction, which he will
learn about latter. For now, he can simply attach it to the preceding sentence
with either a comma or a dash.
Frag #10 -- Other: As in Frag #9,
if the student were analzying his own writing, he would probably realize
that there is no subject for "taught." Unlike the problem with the preceding
fragment, however, the student would probably easily realize that all he
needs to do is to add "he." Note, by the way, the three subordinate clauses
in this main clause, two of which are second level embeddings.
CS #34 -- Contrast: ". . .when I do wong;
when I don't . . ."
CS #35 -- Amplification: It gives
more details about his birthday: "In winter, it's
about the middle of October, when my birthday is, so he can buy
me a present -- I will be 13 years old."
RO #53 -- Contrast: The semicolon doesn't
work very well here because the "but" already provides a contrast between
the preceding two ideas. I'm guessing, however, that the writer's sense
of the contrast between "has to work" and "gets two vacations" caused the
run-on. The best option here would probably be a period, but I would leave
the choice between a period and a semi-colon up to the writer.
"I wish I could spend more time with him, but he has to work. He
gets two vacations."
RO #54 -- Amplification. The second main
clause clearly clarifies the first: ". . . and one
is in the summer -- that is the late summer."
RO #55 -- Other: This is probably a careless
error. (Note the following, clearly careless "have only have.") The run-on,
however, is also an amplification of the preceding "I will be 13
years old." That logical connection may have contributed to the causes
for the missing period.
*****
This essay is, I would suggest, further evidence
that language is a stream of meaning.
The writer has lots of interrelated and complex ideas and examples
that he wants to convey, but he needs some help in shaping them into sentences.
Giving this student sentence-combining exercises, without giving him the
ability to analyze the sytax of his own writing, will probably only result
in his sentences becoming more muddled. He could, of course, also use some
help with usage and spelling. |