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Notes for
"Alicia"
MIMC: One Set of Sentences Yields Two Paragraphs

See the exercise - L6.2 Logic; 1YM

      If you have not already read them, please see the notes on MIMC exercises in the introduction to this month. The following, of course, present only one of many possibilities for responding to this exercise.


TOPIC SENTENCE A

     In spite of her many problems, Alicia won the contest for Prom Queen.

1. Her boyfriend, Ralph, had lots of influence as the captain of the football team, and he almost missed the deadline for nominating her.

[Although he almost missed the deadline for nominating her,] her boyfriend, Ralph, had lots of influence as the captain of the football team. [C/E - concession]

Her boyfriend, Ralph, [who almost missed the deadline for nominating her,] had lots of influence as the captain of the football team. [Identity]

2. All of his teammates promised to vote for Alicia, and most of them did; but some of them never got around to voting at all.
All of his teammates promised to vote for Alicia, and most of them did, [although some of them never got around to voting at all]. [C/E - concession]

Most of his teammates [who promised to vote for Alicia] did so, [although some of them never got around to voting at all]. [Identity][C/E - concession]

3. The basketball players originally supported one of Alicia's rivals; they eventually gave their votes to Alicia.
The basketball players, [who originally supported one of Alicia's rivals,] eventually gave their votes to Alicia. [Identity]

[Although the basketball players originally supported one of Alicia's rivals,] they eventually gave their votes to Alicia. [C/E - concession]

4. Alicia had trouble raising enough money for her campaign, so her sorority sisters came to her rescue.
[When Alicia had trouble raising enough money for her campaign,] her sorority sisters came to her rescue. [Time]

[Because Alicia had trouble raising enough money for her campaign,] her sorority sisters came to her rescue.  [C/E]

5. Trudy was Alicia's campaign manager, and she did a terrific job; however, she came down with the flu halfway through the campaign.
Trudy was Alicia's campaign manager and did a terrific job [before she came down with the flu halfway through the campaign.] [Time]

Trudy, [who came down with the flu halfway through the campaign,] was Alicia's campaign manager, and she did a terrific job.  [Identity]

6. The ballots were counted and re-counted; they clearly gave Alicia the title of Prom Queen.
[After they were counted and re-counted,] the ballots clearly gave Alicia the title of Prom Queen.  [Time]

[Although the ballots had to be counted and re-counted,] they clearly gave Alicia the title of Prom Queen. [C/E - concession]

The ballots, [which were counted and re-counted,] clearly gave Alicia the title of Prom Queen. [Identity]

7. Alicia experienced many trying times, and she finally became the new Queen.
[After she  experienced many trying times,] Alicia finally became the new Queen.  [Time]

[Although she  experienced many trying times,] Alicia finally became the new Queen.  [C/E - concession]

Alicia, [who experienced many trying times,] finally became the new Queen. [Identity]


TOPIC SENTENCE  B

     Alicia, who won the contest for Prom Queen, had to overcome many problems.

1. Her boyfriend, Ralph, had lots of influence as the captain of the football team, and he almost missed the deadline for nominating her.

Her boyfriend, Ralph, [who had lots of influence as the captain of the football team,] almost missed the deadline for nominating her. [Identity]

[Although her boyfriend Ralph had lots of influence as the captain of the football team] he almost missed the deadline for nominating her. [C/E - concession]

2. All of his teammates promised to vote for Alicia, and most of them did; but some of them never got around to voting at all.
[While all of his teammates promised to vote for Alicia], and [*while* most of them did,]  some of them never got around to voting at all. [C/E - concession]

Some of his teammates, [all of whom promised to vote for Alicia], and [most of whom did,] never got around to voting at all. [Identity; This one is awkward.]

Some of his teammates, [who all promised to vote for Alicia], never got around to voting at all, [although most of whom did.]  [Identity] [C/E - concession]

3. The basketball players originally supported one of Alicia's rivals; they eventually gave their votes to Alicia.
The basketball players, [who eventually gave their votes to Alicia,] originally supported one of Alicia's rivals. [Identity]

[Before  they eventually gave their votes to Alicia,] the basketball players originally supported one of her rivals. [Time]

The basketball players originally supported one of Alicia's rivals, [although they eventually gave their votes to Alicia]. [C/E - concession]

4. Alicia had trouble raising enough money for her campaign, so her sorority sisters came to her rescue.
[Before her sorority sisters came to her rescue,] Alicia had trouble raising enough money for her campaign. [Time]

[Note: KISS would already consider the "so" clause to be subordinate -- an adverbial clause of result. Click here for more on this.] [C/E - result]

5. Trudy was Alicia's campaign manager, and she did a terrific job; however, she came down with the flu halfway through the campaign.
Trudy, [who was Alicia's campaign manager and did a terrific job,] came down with the flu halfway through the campaign.  [Identity]

[Although Trudy was Alicia's campaign manager,] and [she did a terrific job,] she came down with the flu halfway through the campaign. [C/E - concession]

6. The ballots were counted and re-counted; they clearly gave Alicia the title of Prom Queen.
The ballots were counted and re-counted [before they clearly gave Alicia the title of Prom Queen]. [Time]

The ballots, [which clearly gave Alicia the title of Prom Queen,] were counted and re-counted.[Identity]

[Although they clearly gave Alicia the title of Prom Queen,] the ballots were counted and re-counted. [C/E - concession]

7. Alicia experienced many trying times, and she finally became the new Queen.
Alicia, [who finally became the new Queen,] experienced many trying times.[Identity]

Alicia experienced many trying times [before she finally became the new Queen]. [Time]

[Although she finally became the new Queen,] Alicia experienced many trying times.[C/E - concession]



     The preceding possible "answers" only begin to suggest the richness of this exercise. Obviously you could have the students combine using a variety of prepositional phrases, subordinate clauses, and gerundives. (This would probably result in the best overall style.) You might also invite students to combine, wherever possible, finite verbs. Do they, for example, sense a difference in focus between the following two sentences?
Alicia experienced many trying times, but finally became the new Queen.
Alicia became the new Queen, but first experienced many trying times.