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Dr. Vavra's ENL 121: Lit & Comp 
 Fall 1998: MP # 1 
A Set of Essays 
on Short Stories
 
Paper # 691
 Dr. Vavra's Course Menu Main ENL 121 Menu  Current MP #1 Assignment
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ENL-121 05
MP-l
Living Happily Ever After
 

1     In Zora Hurston's short story, "Sweat," [Titles] Delia Jones is married to a very dominant and powerful man. Skye [Sp] Jones is his name, and he is an abusive man who has no respect for Delia. Being married for fifteen years seems to be a lot for Delia, considering that she has only loved Skyes [Sp] for a short time after they were married. Living a life of fear and helplessness allows the dominant figure of that person's life to continue to have total control until the fall of that dominant figure. The theme of the story [This theme] can be supported by characterization, symbols, and setting.

2     Delia Jones is a Negro woman who washes clothes for the white folks in her community. [Topic sentence does not cover the paragraph -- the paragraph includes characterization of Sykes.] She is a very hard worker, and she takes great pride in her work. She has built the house that her [she] and Skyes [Sp] reside in, and she has planted all the trees around the premises. Delia also is a Christian, who attends service regularly on Sundays before she starts her laundry for the week. Skyes, [Sp] on the other hand, is a dominant black man who has control of the house. After years of abuse Delia is afraid to push his temper, she wouldn't dare kick him out, or she would get beaten. [CS - 1] She would rather live her life trying to avoid his rude comments, and keeping her mouth shut when he is around. Delia is a very fragile lady, with very slim and weak bones; she clearly would not be able to take control of any situation that her [she] and Skyes are involved in. Delia continues to do her laundry and take care of the house while her husband is out with his mistress. Delia is helpless when it comes to defending herself against Skyes. After years of torture [evidence?] and abuse, Delia has become used to the situation. When Skyes is out with Bertha, he tells her that when he gets ride [rid] of Delia, that she can have anything in the house or in the whole town. Skyes is trying to make himself out to be a respectable loving man, and he wants Bertha to believe that he has power. The only power that he has is when it involves controlling his wife.

3     Delia Jones is petrified of snakes, and Skyes really has no problem with them.
[Poor topic sentence: if this paragraph is about symbolism, the word "symbol" (or "symbolism") should appear in the topic sentence.] One day when Skyes came home with Delia's horse and wagon, he threw his whip at her. Delia thought that it was a snake at first, and she was quite frightened. The whip is definitely a sign of dominance, and control. [Good point] This scene takes place at the beginning of the story; therefore we get a better understanding of the dominant figure right away. Another symbol in the story is the laundry that Delia does. Skyes has yelled at her several times to stop washing the white folk's laundry, but she continues to do so. This could be a way for Delia to get back at Skyes for all the misery that she has gone through. Delia also starts on the laundry Sunday's [apostrophe] after church. The laundry could also be a representation of her pride, and her soul. Skyes has kicked, and stepped on the laundry a couple of times throughout the story. This could also be perceived as kicking and stepping on Delia's pride. [Good point] Sunday's are the Sabbath day, the day we are to relax and cleanse our souls, and Delia starts on the laundry on Sunday after church. [Which symbolizes?]

4     One of the more important symbols in the story is the rattlesnake that Skyes has bought. It is obvious that the snake was intended to bite Delia, and kill her. In the end, Skyes is the one that is bite [bitten] by the snake. Throughout history, snakes have been a sign of evil, they still are to this day. In Jill Tweedies essay, "God the Mother Rules," Jill [Use authors' last names, not their first.] states that snakes and serpents were the symbols for the female Goddesses. Once man took control of the world, the snake became an evil figure. Delia thought for sure that she was the one to be bitten, but in the end it was Skyes that ended up dead. The snake could represent Delia as a female deity. [Why? What is devine about her?] She was definitely a woman of good intentions who fell into the wrong hands. The snake killing Skyes was for the benefit of Delia, she could now continue her life without living in fear and agony. [CS -1]

5     The setting of the story takes place in the house that Delia has built by herself. [SV Logic -1] The hose [house] is located in a small community, where everybody knows everyone and their business. Having put a lot of time and effort into the house, Delia was not going to leave, she would continue to be abused.  [CS -1] Skyes, on the other hand, would not leave either. He didn't have to because Delia could not do a damn thing to Skyes; he had all the control. In the community everybody knew of the spousal abuse, but they all lived in fear of the big, dominant black man. [This contradicts the last sentence in paragraph 2.] What were they supposed to do? They figured that it was Delia's house and she could evict him. Of course this was not going to happen because Delia lived her whole marriage in fear of Skyes. 

6     In the short story, "Sweat," [Titles] by Zora Hurston the [?] Delia Jones was never happy until the death of her husband. Living a life in fear of a dominant figure allows the dominant figure to stay in control until that person is deceased. Characterization, symbols, and setting support the theme of the story. Delia Jones was not happily married; she lived her life helplessly against the abusive and powerful Skyes. Delia was very fortunate to have her husband killed. [Who killed him?]
 


Outline
 
(1) 
I. Introduction 
    Thesis -- Living a life in fear + helplessness allows dominant figure of person's life to continue to have control until the fall of the dominant figure.
(2) II. Characterization 
    A. Delia Jones 
    B. Skyes
(3) III. Symbols 
    A. Whip 
      1. Dominance 
      2. Misaken for a snake
    B. Laundry 
      1. Delia's pride 
      2. Delia's soul
(4)
    C. Snake 
      1. Evil 
      2. Sign of Female Deity
(5) IV. Setting 
    A. House Built by Delia 
    B. In small community
(5) (6) V. Conclusion -- Restate Thesis
 

ENL 121 (Vavra) Grading Sheet for MP1 (1 of 2)
Possible 
Points
Student's 
Grading
Instructor's 
Grading
Description Totals
Audience (20)  17 / 16
0 - 3  3  2 The essay has a good introductory paragraph.
0 - 3  3  2 The essay has a good concluding paragraph.
0 - 4
 3  2 The essay goes beyond the obvious.
0-10 8 10  The essay does not simply retell the story.
Thesis (20)  17 / 14
0 - 5  5  5 The thesis is clearly identifiable, somewhere near the beginning of the essay.
0 - 5  4  3 The thesis enables an interpretation, not a retelling, of the story.
0 - 5  4  5 The thesis reflects at least an average understanding of the concepts studied.
0 - 5  4 ?  1 The thesis reflects an above average understanding of the concepts studied and the story. [If the student gave the essay only four out of five for the preceding category -- "average understanding" -- how could the essay earn four out of five for "above average understanding"? This suggests that the student did not take the grading sheets seriously -- and that I shouldn't waste time making a lot of comments on this paper.]
 Organization (20)  20 / 12
0 - 5  5  5 The essay has at least four paragraphs.
0 - 5  5  2 Topic sentences relate paragraphs to the thesis.
0 - 5
 5  1 Topic sentences cover paragraphs.
0 - 5  5  4 Outline and paragraphs reflect subdivisions of major points.
Details (20)  16 / 15
5  4  5 The essay includes some details.
0 - 5  4  3 One concept (__characterization_)  is explained in good detail.
0 - 5  4  4 A second concept (__symbols__) is explained in good detail.
0 - 5  4  3 A third concept (___setting__) is explained in good detail.
 
(2 of 2)
Possible 
Points
Student's 
Grading
Instructor's 
Grading
Description Totals
Style (20)  20 / 13
0 - 3  3  3 Words are used correctly and accurately.
0 - 2  2  2 There are no (few) errors in usage. 
0 - 2  2  1 Pronouns are used correctly. ["her and Skyes"]
0 - 2  2  1 Verb forms and tenses are used correctly. ["is bite"]
0 - 3  3  3 All sentences are comprehensible.
0 - 2  2  1 Sentence structure is mature and varied. [Too many punctuation errors in simple sentences to get full credit.]
0 - 4
 4  2 Underlining, italics, and quotation marks are used correctly. [Titles]
0 - 2
 2  0 There are few or no sloppy errors. ["hose"; "ride"]
Minus Style Penalty Points (May be regained by correcting errors) - 4
Basic Grade for the Essay (100)  90 / 66
Penalty Points: - __________ Late    __-10 Par Not Numbered; -10 No Disk Version__ - 20
Bonus Points (9 possible) +9 / 0
0 - 3  3  0 Brainstorming
0 - 3  3  0 Outlining
0 - 3  3  0 Revision
Final Grade for the Essay  99  / 46
Hostage Fifty: 
    Apostrophe 
If anything is written in the "Hostage Fifty" block, read the Additional Requirements for Major Papers.

Student's Comments: (You can also use the back of either page.)

 
The low grade on this paper is probably the result of four things: inefficient brainstorming (See below.), a late start, no editing (See below), and carelessness in following simple directions.

Student's Log
 
Codes: B = Brainstorming; RR = Reading/Research; O =Outlining; TC = Tutoring Center;
D = Drafting; RV = Revising; E =Editing; G = Grading; T =Typing

NOTE: Revising = RV. Remember: use only one code per entry. (See Instructions.)

I used a word-processor _____while drafting _____ while revising _____ to type my paper.
 

Date: Code Started Stopped Minutes Comments
 9/23
 R
 3:00
 5:00
 120
Read Lappin & Lappinova, and How I Met My Husband
 9/25
 R
 10:00
 11:30
 90
Read Story of the Hour and Sweat
 
 R
 3:00
 3:30
 30
Dr. Heideggers
 9/27
 B
 7:00
 9:00
 120
thought of Lappin & Lappinova & Sweat then thought of ideas through the day
 9/29
 B
 11:00
 12:30
 90
Sweat, ideas for writing [Although the student claims 210 minutes (3 1/2 hours) for storming, there were NO storming notes in the envelope. (I could have deducted ten more for that.)]
 
 O
 2:30
 3:30
 60
outline for Sweat
D 3:30 5:00 90 wrote draft
9/30 RV 10:00 11:00 60 revised [No editing? Note the grade for style.]
T 5:00 6:30 90 typed paper
 
Distribution of Time:
Process Minutes % of Total
Brainstorming
 210
28 
Read/Research
 240
32 
Outlining
 60
Tutoring Center
 0
Drafting
 90
12 
Revising
 60
Editing
 0
Grading
 0
Typing
 90
12 
Total
750 
=12.5  hours