Why God Never Received Tenure at the University
He had only one major publication.
It was {in
obscure languages.} [Adverb to "was"]
It had no references.
It wasn't published {in
a refereed journal.}[Adverb to "was
published"]
Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
It may be true that he created
the universe, but
what has he done {since then?}
[Adverb
to "has done"]
His cooperative efforts have
been quite limited.
The scientific community has
had a hard time replicating
his results.
He never applied {to
the Ethics Board} {for permission}
[Both are adverbial to "applied," the first stating
where, the second,
why.] to
use human subjects.
When one experiment went awry
he tried to cover it up
{by drowning the subjects.} [Adverb
to either "tried" or to "cover
it up."
[Note # 1]
When subjects didn't behave as
predicted, he deleted
them {from the sample.} [Adverb
to "deleted"]
He rarely came {to
class,} [Adverb to "came"]
just told
students to read the
Book.
Some say he had his son teach
the class.
He expelled his first two students
{for learning too much.}
[Adverb to "expelled" [Note
# 2.]
Although there were only ten
requirements, most
students failed his tests.
His office hours were infrequent
and usually held {on
a remote mountaintop.} [Adverb
to "held"]
Donna Kleiner, Internet e-mail 3/21/97
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