Why God Never Received Tenure at the University
He had
only
one
major publication (DO).
It was
{in
obscure languages}.
It had
no
references (DO).
It wasn't
published
{in a refereed journal}.
Some
even
doubt[CNE]
he wrote
it (DO)
himself.
It may
be true (PA) that he
created
the
universe
(DO),
but what (DO) has
he
done
{since
then}?
His
cooperative efforts have
been quite limited.
The
scientific community has
had a hard time
(DO)
replicating his
results.
He never
applied
{to
the Ethics Board} {for permission}
to use human
subjects.
When one
experiment
went
awry
he
tried[CNE]
to
cover[Note
#1] it up {by
drowning the subjects}.
When subjects
didn't
behave
as predicted, he deleted
them (DO) {from
the sample}.
He rarely
came
{to class},
just
told[CNE]
students (IO) to
read the
Book.
Some
say[CNE]
he
had[CNE]
his son teach[Note #2]
the class.
He expelled
his
first two students (DO) {for
learning too
much}.
Although there[Note]
were only
ten
requirements
(PN),
most students failed
his
tests (DO).
His
office hours were
infrequent
(PA) and
usually
held
(PA)[Note #3]
{on a remote mountaintop}.
Donna Kleiner, Internet e-mail 3/21/97
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