Why God Never Received Tenure at the University
He had
only
one
major publication.
/
It was
{in
obscure languages}. /
It had
no
references.
/
It wasn't
published
{in
a refereed journal}. /
Some
even
doubt
[DO of "doubt" he
wrote
it
himself.]
/
It may
be true [Note
#1 that he
created
the
universe,]
/
but what
has
he
done
{since
then}? /
His
cooperative efforts
have been
quite limited.
/
The
scientific community
has had a
hard time
replicating his
results. /
He
never
applied
{to
the Ethics Board} {for permission}
to use human
subjects.
/
[Adverbial
to "tried" When
one
experiment
went
awry]
he
tried[CNE]
to cover it up
{by drowning the subjects}. /
[Adverbial
to "deleted" When subjects
didn't
behave
[Adverbial to "behave"
asNote #2
predicted,]]
he deleted them
{from the sample}.
/
He
rarely
came
{to
class},
just
told[CNE]
students to
read the Book.
/
Some
say
[DO
of "say" he
had[CNE]
his son teach the
class.]
/
He expelled
his
first two students
{for learning too
much}.
/
[Adverbial
to "failed" Although there
were only
ten
requirements,]
most students
failed
his
tests.
/
His
office hours
were
infrequent
and
usually
held
{on a remote
mountaintop}. /
Donna Kleiner, Internet e-mail 3/21/97
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