Why God Never Received Tenure at the University
He
had
only
one major publication.
/
It was
{in
obscure languages}./
It had
no
references.
/
It wasn't
published
{in
a refereedNote PPG
journal}. /
Some
even
doubt
[he
wrote
it
himself.]/
It may
be true [that
he
created the
universe,]/
but what
has
he
done{since
then}? /
His cooperative efforts
have
been quite limited.
/
The scientific community
has
had a hard time
replicating
(Gerundive to "community"Note
#1) his results
(DO of
"replicating").
/
He
never
applied
{to the Ethics Board} {for permission}
to use
(Inf - Adjective to "permission")
human
subjects
(DO of "to use") . /
[When one
experiment
went
awry]
he
tried
to cover
(Inf -
DO of "tried") it
(DO of "to cover") up
{by drowning (Gerund
- Object of "by")
the subjects
(DO of "drowning")}.
/
[When subjects
didn't
behave [as
predicted,]]
he
deleted them
{from the sample}./
He rarely
came{to
class},
just
told
students to read
(Inf -
DO of "told")
the Book
(DO of "to read").
/
Some
say
[he
had
his son
(Subject of "to teach")
teach
(Inf -
DO of "had")
the class
(DO of "teach").]
/
He expelled
his first two students
{for learning
(Gerund
- Object of "for")
too much
(DO of "learning")}.
/
[Although
there were
only ten requirements,]
most students
failed his
tests.
/
His office hours
were
infrequent
and usually
held
(Gerundive -
PA to "hours were"Note #2)
{on a remote mountaintop}. /
Donna Kleiner, Internet e-mail 3/21/97
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