Why God Never Received Tenure at the University
He
had
only
one major publication.
/
It was
{in
obscure languages}./
It had
no
references.
/
It wasn't
published
{in
a refereed journal}. /
Some
even
doubt
[he
wrote
it
himself. (Appositive
to
"he")] /
It may
be true [that
Note #1 he
created
the
universe,]
/
but what
has
he
done{since
then}? /
His cooperative efforts
have
been quite limited.
/
The scientific community
has
had a hard time
replicating
his
results.
/
He
never
applied
{to
the Ethics Board} {for permission} to use
human
subjects
. /
[When one
experiment
went
awry]
he
tried
to cover it
up {by
drowning
the subjects}./
[When subjects
didn't
behave
[as
predicted,]]
he
deleted
them
{from the sample}./
He rarely
came
{to class}, just
told
students to read
the Book.
/
Some
say
[he
had
his son teach
the class.]
/
He expelled
his
first two students
{for
learning
too much}.
/
[Although there
were only ten requirements,]
most students
failed his
tests.
/
His office hours
were
infrequent
and
usually
held
{on a remote
mountaintop}. /
Donna Kleiner, Internet e-mail 3/21/97.
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